Announcing: Transcripts!

It’s something we should have been doing this whole time so we’re very sorry but we are in the process of transcribing all of our episodes! From now all, all new episodes will have transcripts published on the same day. Whether you want to do a literary analysis, hate the sound of our voices, prefer reading to listening, or the podcast just wasn’t accessible to you before, here they are!

As always, thank you for listening (and/or reading) and don’t forget to think weirder thoughts.

Love,

Florence, Diane, and Maggie (Long May He Reign)

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Welcome to Our Blog

Well, well, well who do we have here? Welcome to the Alternate Reality Productions blog.

Here is where we’ll post links to our hilarious and ever-so enjoyable podcasts as well as provide you, dedicated listener, with additional posts and content that you won’t hear on the airwaves. And the reason you won’t be hearing them is because you’ll be reading them with your eyeballs right here. Visiting and following the Alternate Reality Productions blog is the best way to keep the good times and the giggles rolling!

XOXOXO,
Florence and Diane

 

Ep. 35 Weirden Your Horizons

If you don’t wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. If you don’t rise and shine. If you would rather burrow deep into your bed until the sheets attach to your skin, this episode is for you. Learn the proud history of the American breakfast from notorious breakfast lover Diane, followed by reviews of products to make your morning more delightful. Then our podcasters help a distressed morning diva find peace in coffee. This is Paper News Out Loud.

A big ole thank you to all who submitted product ads:

Sammy (@SammyMadafiglio) from Queer Dungeoneers (@QueerDungeons)

Kyle (@KyleTheTurner) from The M Word (@mwordpod)

Crispysteve (@Crispysteve42 )

Headline: https://priceonomics.com/how-breakfast-became-a-thing/

https://www.mashed.com/131396/5-things-you-should-eat-for-breakfast-and-5-you-should-always-avoid/

Products: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E5LEQVE/ref=as_li_ss_tl?&ascsub&linkCode=sl1&tag=bfmaitland-20&linkId=450de12312ef5cb3cc720591289ecdf8

https://www.amazon.com/Hoan-Bagel-Guillotine-Slicer-White/dp/B000HS7JPY/ref=as_li_ss_tl?s=kitchen&ie=UTF8&qid=1472222902&sr=1-1&keywords=bagel+slicer&linkCode=sl1&tag=bfmaitland-20&linkId=bb25a96f6e411f809cac0dbd559a6602

https://news.dunkindonuts.com/file?fid=56afcab0acae6e374ce05291

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Perfect-Coffee

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Ep. 34 The Solstice is Nigh

If four horsemen herald the apocalypse, who heralds the winter solstice? That’s right, it’s Florence and Diane. Armed with t-shirt cannons filled to the brim with confetti, hearts full of love, and eyes devoid of pupils, they’ve come knocking on your podcatcher to spread the joy of the solstice. Florence gives you a glimpse of what to expect during the solstice, they cuddle you by the yule log to lull you to sleep with a solstice tale, and Diane helps a listener get the best legal photos of the moon the world has ever seen. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://earthsky.org/astronomy-essentials/everything-you-need-to-know-december-solstice

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Photograph-the-Moon

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/
And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Ep. 32 One More Halloween Spooktacular

Bubble, bubble Diane’s in trouble. It’s Florence’s turn to Maggie cuddle. Happy Halloween from Paper News Out Loud! Only treats from our podcasters today. From the history of jack o’ lanterns to a spooky story to a very thorough walkthrough of proper carving techniques, you’re going to be in a sugar coma before you know it. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/jack-olantern-history

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Trick-or-Treat-Safely

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud

Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/9e528828-0e77-447f-938f-5f60522e2fd3

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

Ep. 31 I Write Recipes Not Tragedies

At night when no one else can hear, Diane sings. She sings for gooey, delicious, warm chocolate chip cookies to appear in front of her. When they don’t, she weeps. In this week’s episode back and better than ever, Diane teaches us about the proud history of chocolate chip cookies. Then Florence reveals to a listener what the secret sauce is to making your own recipes after our podcasters check the classifieds. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://www.businessinsider.com/the-chocolate-chip-cookie-was-invented-by-accident-2013-3

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Make-Your-Own-Recipe

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Ep. 30 Close Encounters with Mars and Meal Prepping

Once upon a time, Mars loved Earth so much that they just couldn’t stay away any longer. They moved closer and closer until they gently crashed into the blue planet and destroyed all the life on it. Diane takes us on an intergalactic journey through the mind of Mars and why it is just so darn close. Then our podcasters help us pack and prepare for our trip to the Red Planet. And finally, Florence helps a listener who needs a little help packing lunch. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: https://mars.nasa.gov/allaboutmars/nightsky/mars-close-approach/

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Plan-Weekly-Meals

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats

Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.

 

Ep. 29 Flower Lemon Mango Power (and puppies)

In an alternate reality, M&Ms are called A&As. That reality is terrible and people who live there are sad. Florence teaches us about where our favorite candy brands (probably) got their names. Then Diane helps out a lonely listener who just wants a little puppy to love, but before that, our favorite podcasters teach us a delicious and tasty recipe. This is Paper News Out Loud.

Headline: http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/05/what-the-ms-stand-for-in-mms/ https://www.leaf.tv/articles/the-history-of-the-3-musketeers-candy-bar/ https://www.rewindandcapture.com/why-is-skittles-called-skittles/ https://www.thefactsite.com/2016/01/skittles-history-and-facts.html

Wikihow: https://www.wikihow.com/Love-Your-Puppy

Music by Jake Harrison: https://soundcloud.com/atthisbeats Look at our website with them eyeballs: https://alternaterealityproductions.wordpress.com/

And check our the home of our network: https://almostbetter.net/ If you’re lucky, you’ll develop all the psychic powers!

Support Paper News Out Loud by donating to the tip jar: https://tips.pinecast.com/jar/paper-news-out-loud

Send us your feedback online: https://pinecast.com/feedback/paper-news-out-loud/7649c3ee-cb4a-4eda-9c8f-eef37ce5c728

This podcast is powered by Pinecast.